|
|
Sunday, July 6th, 2008
| |
6:04 pm - Where Snezana says, FUCK YOU!
|
In a weird mood. Kind of a "I don't care about anything" mood.
Doesn't help that I'm blasting music and drinking wine. Which really, I had 1.5 glasses and I am sad to report, nearly drunk. Light weight. Kinda can't see the keyboard that well right now.
Also, just want to give the finger to basically everyone. I feel alone, unwanted. I need to make out with someone, or get laid. Really don't know/care.
I'm going out to drink some more.
Pray for me.
Peace Bitches.
current mood:  bouncy
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
| |
10:49 pm - Where Snezana drinks coffee, and confesses all...
|
So my parents leave for Mexico in 1 day. This means:
1. House to my (almost) self.
2. No rules for 1 week.
3. Emergency money that will be spent on pizza and booze.
4. Gifts upon their return.
5. My brother's girlfriend sleeping over.
...
I am not amused.
Besides this, I won't really have time to enjoy this freedom since:
1. I'll be at school 4/7 days.
2. I have a midterm in 1 week that needs to be studied for.
3. My brother's girlfriend will be sleeping over.
4. Making dinner constantly for said brother and said girlfriend.
5. My Belle River friends are all douchebags.
6. I'll be at the hospital friday nights volunteering.
...
When is it my turn to take a vacation?
Who wants to take a roadtrip to Europe when I graduate next year? I need to get out of Canada badly.
Later.
current mood:  lonely
|
|
(10 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, June 26th, 2008
| |
5:54 pm - Where Snezana gets a compliment...
|
So I was watching VH1, minding my own business, when I get a random txt msg from some guy named Marcel. He asks me if I remember him, but I don't know anyone by this name. So I tell him I think he has the wrong person. Then he sends me back a message saying, he was the wrong number that called me a few days ago(I've had two wrong numbers in two days) and he thought I had a beautiful voice(which really I don't, I think I sound like a prepubescent boy), and he just wanted to let me know, to give me a compliment.
This kinda made my day.
current mood:  giddy
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, June 24th, 2008
| |
3:48 pm - Where Snezana breaks down and cries...
|
So next year, october 2009, I will be graduating university. This is SCARY SHIT!
But I've realized that my grades aren't good enough, to maybe graduate. THIS IS SCARIER SHIT! No joke, if I don't get my mark up to an 8.0 in time for graduation, I won't be going. And I do NOT want to have wasted 4 years of my life for nothing, disappointed everyone I know. Seriously, if I don't get my marks up, and fail....I really might do something drastic. Damn.
current mood:  anxious
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, June 17th, 2008
| |
11:20 pm - Where Snezana pours her heart out...
|
My keyboard is being screwy. I think the wireless battery or whatever is dying. Slow, painful, misstyping death.
I never realized how difficult compiling a school schedule would be. I just spent 2 hours, going over this semester, and next semesters classes I need to complete my fourth and final year. Sad to say, I won't be graduating in June, but in October. Oh well, I need a few classes that will catch me completely up to the major I effed up. So summer classes again for next year. Joy!
I have an exam next Tues. I'm basically done the first half of my summer classes. Summer session starts July 2. Another two months of that, then straight back into regular classes.
Watching the Lakers/Celtics game. Boston is kicking ASS!!!!! For sure championship.
I have been doing a shitload of NOTHING these pass few days. I feel like a complete lazy ass slob. My gym membership is not being put to use, so I'm basically paying for nothing. And I can't cancel because I signed a contract. Damn you!!!
I'm pale as a vampire goth. My tanning minutes aren't being put to use either. This upcoming week is the Carousel of the Nations at the different halls. So much to do, to look good for my peeps. Sigh.
I want to go buy The Sixth Sense.
Okay, enough rambling. I'm going to go cry and be emo in my "real" journal.
Later.
current mood: crappy
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
| |
11:15 pm - Where Snezana writes some poems...
|
Just going through some old stuff on my laptop. I started a new 3 book series. Man I keep starting books, but I never finish them. Damn you writer's block! Anyways, enjoy the shitty attempts at poetry that follows. Be aware. I wrote the first few in 2 minutes. You have been warned. Enjoy! Feedback welcomed.
1.)
Glory Battles:
Quiet, quiet
Gently moving,
Slowly proving,
How the mighty fall.
Close in on them,
Strike them down and then,
Move on to fresh new finds.
Cloud their judgment,
Mysteriously appearing
Shoving, sawing, spearing,
Hearts to hearts, and cheer.
Battle cries of great disguise,
Glory forever near.
Death lies, and ties
The souls above
Swiftly moving by.
Hold heads up high,
Proud and dignified
And cast your sword aside.
2.)
Dark Weakness:
Like a shadow,
He sneaks into my heart.
Like a sin,
He takes possession of my soul.
The night is black,
And I know he's there.
Waiting,
Watching,
For a weakness to show.
3.)
Journeys:
Hold onto my hand,
Each finger is special in its own way.
It has travelled its own journey,
Either to the moon, stars, sun or beyond.
Look into my eyes,
See all the things that have come to pass,
Each memory of sadness, happiness and more,
Is now apart of you.
Let me see you smile, for then I smile too,
And share all the new things you've experienced.
4.)
The Fall:
Fall fast into me.
Hands held high,
Fall into me.
Wrap around, holding tight,
Never to let you go.
Fall hard into me.
Cheek against mine,
We sway from side to side,
As I fall hard for you,
Never to let you go.
5.)
The Passenger:
Moving slowly, thinking fast.
Lines and lines that seem to last.
Finding ways to pass the time,
So we don't commit a crime.
Creeping up, hearts are racing,
Makes me wish I could start pacing.
Multi-coloured coats go by,
Making me give out a sigh.
Clock ticks once, then twice: repeat,
Thinking thoughts of how to get out of my seat.
current mood:  creative
current music: Soundgarden: Spoonman
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
| |
4:55 pm - where snezana loses her mind...
|
...so when I don't feel like studying, or I know it's a lost cause and failure is inevitable, I don't try to pull through, tell myself "You can do it!"
No, I take the easy road and drop that class as fast as I can...
I guess this says a lot about me.
I am an awful grown-up.
Random warning: Also, wtf with the fog today? It felt like I was on some harbour getting sprayed by misting fog. I was about to put on my slicker and go catch some fish. Almost.
Later.
current mood: crappy
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008
| |
10:44 pm
|
i feel so lazy.
all i'm doing is talking to people on msn. lately a lot, considering i think msn is the devil.
listening to my ipod.
also, thursday's midterm is going to be a big fat F of a disaster..balls.
i want a party. someone have a party?
|
|
(6 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, June 2nd, 2008
| |
4:55 pm
|
i want a bowflex home gym.
i have "dun nuh nuh nuh, can't touch this. Hammer time!" going through my head.
i have bellydancing tonight. impulsive move on my part signing up for the lessons, considering i have midterms and papers and conflicting school schedules. i won't even be able to attend the last class on june 23 because i have an 830am exam the next day, and i'll be busy studying.
i feel really restless. i think i've had too much caffeine today.
i'm also verging on being tired. emotional rollercoaster.
i need to go tanning. my left arm is getting darker than my right because of the way the sun faces when i drive. damn it!
gah. life is poop.
EDITED:
I basically feel like this today.
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, May 30th, 2008
| |
5:25 pm
|
So it's been a while. Not that anyone cares...
A couple of days ago I had a huge depressing moment. My brother's girlfriend was over, and they were watching a movie, and I was just lying in bed, and I just had this urge to hug my knees to my chest and bawl like a baby. I've never had such a feeling of loneliness start to choke me. I'm scared that no one will ever love me. And I know that I push people away as well, so it's partly my fault. This love business is scary stuff. I don't think I would be able to handle loving someone so deeply, and having something happen to them that tears them away from me. I had a hard enough time getting on with life after my friend Scott committed suicide. And I wasn't even IN love with him. Sure I love all my friends, but there's a difference. Last night I went to the movies with Nicole and we happened to be talking about old age, and I mentioned how almost a quarter of our lives have almost passed us by. Well I mean technically a quarter if your lucky enough to live to 100, but that's doubtful. So what have I been doing about this? Nothing, just basically watching my life pass me by. I am sick. And pathetic.
Okay, re-writing that has made me feel down again.
Anyways, on to happier thoughts. Tonight I'll be going over to Lauren's for a Sex and the City marathon watch, in preparation for seeing the movie next week. Pretty excited.
Last night Nicole and I saw the new Indiana Jones film. I was in new territory since I have never ever seen an any of the films. I mean it was pretty good. Good old action film. But really, the ending kind of threw me off. I didn't see that coming. Who knew?
All my major book reading has been done. Last night I got the last book in my Brotherhood of the Black Dagger, and I was so excited to read it, that it took me a few tries. I set the book down and kind of just stared at it for a few seconds. Haha I was full of happy energy, it just got to me.
Anyways, besides school being a douchebag, and having midterms this week and next, nothing else is new. I'm off to London tomorrow. I'll try to get some pictures taken.
Later.
current mood:  calm
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, May 23rd, 2008
| |
11:15 am - Wherein, Snezana finally learns how to use photobucket
|
|
| Monday, May 19th, 2008
| |
2:56 pm
|
friday was landscaping day. went and bought flowers and stuff for outside work with mom at 11am. came home around 1pm. got right to work digging with a shovel. was on my hands and knees, digging with my bare hands for 6 hours straight. completed landscaping at 7pm. have to say, pretty damn good job. saturday, they cut down the dead tree in the backyard. the tapers came for the basement. it will be ready to paint this week, which means my huge ass basement will be ready for parties by the end of the summer. have so much reading for class. boo. last night went dt to cheney's, honest lawyer, and jack's. i think my new fav drink is the white freezer. omg delicious!! excited because all my favourite authors have new books coming out may, june, and sept. i have tons of books to read. pretty tired. pretty bored. pretty freaking sick of some things. whatever.
current mood:  blank
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 15th, 2008
| |
10:26 pm
|
Damn you Andy! You stole Jim's thunder!!! Also, Toby needs to come back.
Just started the Mortified book I bought in Vegas. It's basically diary/journal entries from real life, put together for a reading pleasure. Very entertaining. One of the diary entries made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.
For Example: "The Porn" entry by Sara Barron
She wrote an epic 40 page story when she was 12 while going through puberty. She chose a unique way of describing this onset. Of course not knowing what an orgasm really felt like, she knew that it was a tinglying "down there" so she assumed that when people orgasmed they just peed. Hilarity insues.
Lead Characters:
1)Jenny
2)Carrie
Scene is Jenny describing having sex:
"Well, I french him...completely. And then, while he's still doing that pushing hump that's so incredible, I take his pienis(yes that is how she spelled it) AND RUB MY FACE IN IT. Then I grab it in my two hands and rub it all over my body. Then I unhooked myself and said, "Baby, it's your turn now." He goes back to that pushing hump that's so incredible, that violent french, and stares into my eyes. And then in the middle of hotly and violently shoving our excited genitals together, since we were at our peak of heat, I was so excited, I peed on him. We both smiled slyly and he said, "Oh yeah." And then I cleaned it all up with the help of my boobs---"
Yah basically, it goes on, but it was the best thing I ever read. Considering the fact that she was 12 when she wrote this 40 page epic porn story, I'm sad to say I can relate. Being as curious as I am, I'll admit to doing something similar like this. Only my story had pictures. I officially feel mortified.
(also, Nicole, you are def. reading this book after me. It's basically your life x1 billion)
On another note, today I went to my Pompeii: The Buried City class, and had to sit through 3 movies of the Last Days of Pompeii:
1) 1913: silent film, black and white.
2) 1935: black and white, not silent but I kinda wish it was.
3) 1959: colour, italian, and dubbed. Enough said.
It's been an eventful day. Tomorrow consists of paint buying/painting front door. Buying gardening tools, and flowers. Saturday is dt Loop action. Oh boy.
Later.
current mood: chipper
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, May 12th, 2008
| |
10:44 pm
|
started belly dancing classes with nicole tonight. every monday for 1h 15mins.
went to value village. bought a book on herbal medicine.
went to dollarama and bought a dvd(YES I KNOOOWW) with 3 in 1 movies. The Terror, House on Haunted Hill(original), and Night of the Living Dead.
went to belly dancing. realized that i'm not as coordinated as i assumed i was. damn you YUMMI!!!!
now i'm in pain..oh aches.
start intersession classes tomorrow. have TB test part 2 + vaccine tomorrow. joy!
i'm going to watch my $1 dvd.
peace out bitches.
current mood: crazy
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 8th, 2008
| |
7:37 pm
|
my days have turned into wasted black holes of nothingness. i am seriously slipping away from civilization. and i really don't care.
my communication with the outside world these days includes my brother, his girlfriend, nicole, and kait. i suck for losing touch with everyone else.
my parents are celebrating their 26th wedding anni tomorrow. i can't believe they've been together that long. my brother and i went out and bought them a wedding gift, and also a card and chocolates for my mom, since yes sunday is mother's day.
i've watched the full season one of House. i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE that show. Hugh Laurie is my hero times 1 billion. on tuesday i stayed up until 7am watching the rest of Firefly. because i'm crazy yes. and i must admit(i mean i knew it was going to be good from the movie) the show was awesome. and i'm real sad it was cancelled. and i think i'm going to have to admit my two fav characters would have to be Mal and Jayne. yes i know. but suck it.
i went to the library today. got some more books. hmmm delicious.
started the Stephanie Plum novels by Janet Evanovich. so far so good :)
on a totally random note, i wish brad pitt was my boyfriend. le sigh.
later.
current mood: creative
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, May 5th, 2008
| |
12:48 am
|
ugh i am sooo full.
and my brother and his so-called gf are in his room...watching a "movie" with the door closed..yes i'll buy that..in a million years.
i'm going to bed. night.
current mood:  geeky
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 1st, 2008
| |
12:15 pm
|
my computer is making weird noises. i think it's dying.
last night nicole and i went to walmart, where we bought "gifts." it was quite fun. we had some good laughs. and i've come to realize that i am pretty awesome.
today my tuition is due. oh and i most definitely failed my stats class. joy to school. so i'll be retaking it in the summer, hopefully with a better(smarter) professor.
also, yesterday consisted of gyming it, and the day before i finally got out to tan. i'm thinking about going right now...after i finish my o.j.
...i also made chocolate cake last night. i was very productive.
Dictionary Definition:
Abri(ah-BREE) [French, from Latin] A shelter; a place of refuge.
Now, make a sentence.
current mood:  curious
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
| |
11:20 am
|
yesterday consisted of kait hangoutage. haven't seen her in forever! we went to the windsor OPP so she could get her background clearance done. afterwards we hit up starbucks on tecumseh rd, where i found the love of my life. i swear it was lust at first sight. and he TOTALLY checked out my chest. i think i'm going to have to stalk that starbucks for another glimpse. afterwards we got the bright idea to bake a cake. oh man, cake is bomb! we called it the "love cake" because we frosted it pink, and put heart sprinkles all over the top. and it tasted like heaven. hmmmm
anyways, today i'm going to take it easy. i've been up since 6am, and i am tired after going to bed at 2am, and tossing and turning.
later gators.
current mood: busy
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, April 27th, 2008
| |
5:33 pm
|
Why, hello Easter. Welcome to my house. Yes you may come in and sit for a while. I'll make you carrot cake, and wash the dishes 16 times, and peel potatoes until my hands are sore. And here's an egg for you, dyed a perfect blood red. And also, can someone please TURN THE FREAKIN HEAT UP. I think I'm going through menopause.
The End.
current mood: creative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, April 26th, 2008
| |
10:52 pm
|
So last night, after colouring my friend's hair(as I’m known to do), Kristy, Jenn and I headed out for a massive road trip. We didn’t know where we were going, we were hoping to get lost along the way. So we headed out, turning down streets we didn’t know. Mostly flipping a coin, heads or tails on whether to turn left or right. Made it pass LaSalle, then Harrow, Essex, and finally ended up somehow in Leamington. On the way back we passed through Cottom, then miraculously ended up on the opposite side of Manning Rd.
To make this pseudo road trip even better, we stopped off at a gas station, and while Kristy filled up her truck, Jenn and I went inside and grabbed as much junk food, and redbull we could carry. In total we spent $20 on chocolate bars, gummie treats, and drinks. Disgusting.
I was in the back seat of the 4-door truck, and as we were driving down parallel to Lake Erie(I believe) I felt really calm, and happy. It was strange. Like for that one split second I left all my worries about school and work and everyday life behind, and I felt a sense of relief. Like nothing was weighing me down. I know it sounds really corny, but I almost wanted to cry.
On the way to Harrow, we were blasting the music, rolling down the windows, while Jenn was whistling at unsuspecting pedestrians. Jenn was having some “guy issues” and Kristy and I were trying to be as helpful as possible. Then we stumbled upon the topic of “love” and I told them that I couldn’t see myself ever falling in love, or being in love, because it doesn’t last. Or well I don’t think it would ever last for me. I know I’m cynical when it comes to these types of things, but I’m sure I’m not the only person out there. I mean just look at the divorce rates. And I don’t know if I would be able to give myself completely over to someone. Or invest my “everything” into another person. I fear getting hurt, I fear intimacy, and I guess I fear commitment as well. It’s sad that I’ll probably end up alone.
Anyways, we were driving for a solid 3 hours, when the redbull I had drank started to make me feel sleepy. I don’t know about you guys, but whenever I drink an energy drink it always has the opposite effect on me. I was headachy by the time I got home. But my brother had invited his friends over, so I was a good sport and stayed out with them until 2am, drinking beers and laughing at their guy stories.
All in all, it was a solid night.
current mood: calm
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
fire_le_snez's journal
